Breathe in Jesus… Breathe out Lindsay…
Breathe in Jesus… Breathe out Lindsay…
Breathe in Jesus… Breathe out Lindsay…

A new friend introduced this little repetition of visualization and breath to me. Superficially bearing similarity to mantras said in woo-woo culture, it brought an initial resistance within - sounded too cliche to be helpful. It didn’t take long though, seconds exactly, for the beauty and reality of these statements to hit. Galaxies away from being shallow self-affirmations, these simple words carry everything we seek during prayer. The following day during my holy hour, I tried it out. Breathing in Jesus felt wonderful, but the breath out struck a chord of subtle panic. It felt like consenting to a kind of death, letting myself dissipate into the ether to be lost forever. Well aware of the calling as Christians we have to give everything, deny ourselves, and carry our cross - this choke-up caught me off guard.

Gazing at the Blessed Sacrament for a moment, I knew it was safe to let go. How silly to think that I had any control over keeping the pieces that make up me together. Brought back to Genesis, He reminded me that I was made out of love, for love. Any part of my identity that leaves by abandoning myself to Him were only walls I built. Weak walls for sure, but Jesus is a man who respects boundaries. Knocking at the door but waiting to be invited in.

By letting myself go, I am not freefalling into nothingness. Rather, free falling into his Sacred Heart. This He revealed to me during our annual retreat. So much of this mission year has pushed me to trust. Particularly during street ministry. These words from the missionary prayer we recite before going out each day ring true, “we are taken aback by the disproportion of your command and our strength, but faith lets us understand that you are at our side in this task.” The number of those who are unhoused and the depth of the pain each one has experienced is overwhelming. Attempting to rely on myself, my heart at times is selfish, discouraged, apathetic and indifferent. His Sacred Heart, the source of everything, is filled with compassion, truth, love, and hope. His Sacred Heart is what I must draw from if I stand any chance of coming out of myself and bringing Jesus to those who desperately need to know Jesus’ love. That there is a place in his Sacred Heart just for Him or Her.

There is a place in his Sacred Heart just for you.

~Lindsay Nelson

A Place in His Heart