My Story, Not Jose's

Results are hard to come by in our ministry, and sometimes I look for a quick fix, someone to whom I can offer physical help and see a tangible result. As the winter rains continued and the year drew closer to the end, my desire for a quick fix to be my success story grew. I wanted a story that I could look back on and tell others about, a story to show that my mission year was a success and I had made an undeniable difference.

And there was Jose, under the Morrison bridge on a stormy and gloomy day. His story seemed quite simple. He had immigrated from Mexico, spoke no English, and landed on the streets of Portland looking for work. My eyes lit up in hope that I had my story, even as Jose’s eyes swelled with tears as he told me his circumstances. 

But the more Jose spoke, the less my eyes glistened. My quick fix was to find Jose work. But as time continued, Jose revealed more. Upon his arrival to Oregon someone offered him drugs to which he was now addicted. To make matters more complex, the drugs he was taking compromised his mental health. He was now battling multiple severe mental health issues including schizophrenia, depression, and suicidal thoughts. It had become clear to me that Jose was not my success story. 

Jose’s situation and current state was like many of those we encounter on the street. He also had the added complication of his legal status that made him ineligible for many of the services available. Where I failed Jose was not in my inability to fix his situation, but in my inability to compassionately see his humanity and dignity. I failed to see him and not just his circumstances. Jose was not a thing in need of me to fix, but a person in need of compassion and friendship. 

After realizing my mistakes in the approach I had been taking with Jose, I decided to take a step back from my interactions with him. I have prayed and fasted that this difficult moment that Jose was going through may bring him closer to Christ. The heart of my mission is to bring people closer to Jesus. My mission is not to fix people.

Like the April showers that brought May flowers, Jose’s mental health has significantly improved these last couple of weeks. He is grateful for our prayers and those of his family. We also have found someone who works with homeless immigrants to connect Jose to services. But this is my story, not Jose’s.

Chelsea Lua